Technology vs. Reality

Purposely left my phone at home today. Best feeling ever. Didn’t feel obligated to answer any texts, calls, or check Facebook periodically. Didn’t feel obligated to know the time. My only obligation was to really breathe in life without a tied technology in my pant pocket. Having the eagerness being gone of checking my phone every time I felt a vibration or to check it every hour to make sure I didn’t miss any text or calling, was wonderful. 🙂

Bogus. For me.

Today, I really focused on others around me and not distracting my attention any where else but in life, in real moments. Like going to canoeing, letting the sun beam down on me, talking & listening to friends, seeing five cute little turtles while canoeing, being treated out to dinner after a well needed meeting and participating in life happening around me. Not masking behind a screen or saying, “One sec, I didn’t hear you…can you repeat that?” Because my head was downward and my fingers were on my phone.
And I am not saying technology isn’t awesome; cause heck, it is! I am currently writing on an online blog about the current situation. :p
But, for me, it distracts myself too much and doesn’t let myself take in life – the bad moments where you don’t know how you’re going to get through the next minute to the fantastic moments where you are laughing so hard it really does hurt!

God is really tugging on my heart to live a more simple life…

Meaning a few things:

Getting rid of and donating most of my clothes.

Limiting my media (texts, internet) amount.

Eating less junk food and more raw foods.

And as of right now, not sure what else.

I don’t know how much I feel about that… but I do know it is the right thing to do.

Camping was a blast this past Saturday with my three best friends. My desire to be a ~~nomad~~ is becoming stronger and stronger. But as of right now, I know where I am supposed to be- in a medium size college town, working at an assisted living place for the elderly and with a little girl with special needs… at the best recovery church, living with my two cray cray friends, teaching Sunday School and doing Kids Fun Night at Church, learning what recovery looks like to me, smiling each day not because of my own desires I am fulfilling but because God is with me, working in me- even in Wisconsin.

No matter how big my desire of traveling the world, getting married, having a family; I know my God has bigger and better plans than I could ever imagine for myself.

And I am excited to see what is to come but even more excited to be living in the moment and feeling the changes of my heart.

Another thing God has been tugging on my heart is about encouragement.

I desire to stop putting other people down and putting myself down when I am in a crappy mood or in self pity…

And switch to the wonderful action called encouragement.

My friends and I like to use sarcasm and sometimes it can get a little too out of hand. Example was this weekend while camping and it was the first time I recognized it myself and wanted it to change. It was also the first time speaking about the change I was feeling inside of me when we all were sitting around the steamy campfire… 🙂

Last night before hitting the hay, I was reading Ephesians 4 and it struck me like neva before… instead of this nonsense sarcasm, why not abide each other in Christ’s love?

Be gentle.

Be humble.

Be patient.

Love.

Wanting the change from bad sarcasm/rudeness/shortness/etc to encouragement for my surrounding loved ones is a great feeling and a better feeling to know it is God doing all this work. To really love God’s people like He loves them.

Later that night, as I was freezing and tossing & turning every thirty seven minutes; I had a dream in between waking up off and on- and it was exactly this; I was trying to explain to myself and my friends who I was camping with of how important it is to me to be more encouraging and to let go of the empty sarcasm bologna. I was so pumped about it and the last time I woke up, I told my good friend Jasmine about my dream; that is how excited my heart is!

God is definitely telling me something!

It is cray cray how God works. Through nature. Through the people in my life. Through my work. Through my dog. Through, just, everyone and everything!

Another awesome thing that has been happening- God has given me such a grateful heart. I have been so grateful each day. Even when things haven’t been going “so well”. Like last week when emotions of my past were getting to me and not knowing how to handle them safely and not wanting to handle them safely… it resulting in me going for a drive with one of my roommates to a local park and bawling my eyes out- not knowing what God is doing and loathing it. I don’t like not knowing everything… :p My feelings and emotions of my past (which two years ago around same date was when my ex boyfriend broke up with me after not talking to me for a week and mind you, I found out on Facebook… and there went my overload of depression for months-so I thought I was over that- HA! Nope. I was confused, hurt, and grieving.) Break ups are difficult and supes difficult when you are co-dependent with him like I was. BUT ANYHOOZLEBEES! It felt good to be able to have such a great friend to listen to me, pray for me, and in the end, laughing together. I love laughter. 🙂

My heart has and is so grateful. Like right now, I am sitting in my living room listening to dub step worship. Nothing could be better… 🙂

I also have been wanting to eat better, get back into shape, etc etc etc and would love prayer on this! I do not want to be obsessed with the thought of food and working out. I need that balance. So I reached out to a friend and asked for some help. Humility, humility, humility. 🙂

Being able to really take things in, breathe life in, thanking God for each breathe, and thanking Him that He is doing all this amazing work- to not boast about it and become prideful, but boast about my weaknesses is when His Light is shining through.

This was certainly a ramble but I hey, that is what blogs are for, right?!

What has God been doing in your life?!

I would love to hear. 🙂

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

– Ephesians 4:1-6

Yeah…

Adios. 🙂