Jesus. Missionary. Music. Road trips. Tattoos. Elderly. Africa. Concerts. Coffee. Kiddos. Reading. Art. Movies. Travel. The beach. Stars. Laughter. Joy. Grace.
Let us keep looking to Jesus. Our faith comes from Him and He is the One who makes it perfect. He did not give up when He had to suffer shame and die on a cross. He knew of the joy that would be His later. Now He is sitting at the right side of God. Hebrews 12:2
And something I must remember before I start judging others…
While at work today I was asked by my coworker (step mom of one of my high school classmates) how he was in high school.
I didn’t know what to say at first.
Let’sgetthisstraight, high school was not the greatest time for me- was dealing with a lot of personal issues, identity issues, family issues, overall- lots and lots of issues. I had a “f*ck everyone” attitude. We all know what that is. Well, okay, maybe not but…you get the drift. 😉
My reply, “Well, we didn’t get along.”
Her face looked confuzzled. Yes, confuzzled.
So I tried explaining that he wasn’t the nicest person to me in high school and at the time, it did hurt but as of now, I’ve had to forgiven him and have learned that hurting people hurt people, unfortunately.
I was so shocked that this came out of my mouth! I wasn’t sure her reaction, after all, it was her stepson I was talking about…
She said, she could understand that. Cray cray!
I am in awe that I have forgiven this guy after two years of high school. No, he didn’t bluntly “bully” me everyday but I have had a comment stick in my head for years after he said it to some other dude.
“That fat chick.”
Yes. Ouch.
I still remember that class I was in and the entire situation. Who says I don’t have a good memory?! Oh, me. :p
Anyhoozlebees- the whole point of this is that I am in awe of God’s forgiveness! Because of Him, I can forgive the people who have hurt me with words/whatever and hope & pray that they would forgive me for the wrongs I have done to them. . .
Cause God knows I have wronged so much.
But because of His blood, everything is made right and He has created beauty from.
We are all human, broken, messed up, screwed up, unfaithful, and we ALL need Jesus.
He is the only one who can and will satisfy our needs and desires.
All of them. Not just three or seventy-nine of them. All. of. them.
Because He wants to.
Because He forgives us.
Because He loves us.
It is beautiful to let go and let God, to forgive because He forgives, love because He loves.
God is beautiful and He is always working when I least expect it.
I no longer have grudges and anger toward those “bullies” in high school.
This is not an excuse for bullying to continue to happen though. That sh*ts gotta stop. Seriously.
Brainstorming ideas on how to…
I am Dixie Chick serious.
That stuff hurts people (obviously) and sometimes or a lot of the times, people do not recover from it. That is the horrible part. And we can ask God where He is when someone is being called names for their weight or acne or being pushed out of the way in the halls at school. Or ask God where He is for all the killings in Africa. Or where is God when a young girl is raped? Or where is God when someone commits suicide because he or she cannot bare the pain any longer? Where is God when all these bad things happen?!
WHERE ARE YOU GOD?
He created us for a purpose and for a reason!
To stop the horrid in the school halls and in the world.
To pour out our compassion in our hearts and turn them into action.
We may not be of the world but we do live in it and it is God’s creation- let God work through you. He desires for all of His children to love His people.
Don’tgetmewrong, I mess up all the time and that is where His grace comes in and catches me & chu. When we fail (cause, face it- we do), He catches us and encourages us to keep going by His strength alone.
Where are we when all the horrific suffering is happening?
This is my take on it anyways.
🙂
All in all, I am completely in love with Jesus and praying that I continue to love Him and His people like He is asking me to.
I must rely on Him
FOR EVERYTHING.
To give me the boldness, courage, strength, love, compassion, humility.
To stand up against those who mock me, challenge me, hurt me
and love them like Jesus loves them.
This is difficult and I can’t imagine what else God is going to bring me through.
Whatever it may be, hold me, Lord and let Your will be done through all of it.
Purposely left my phone at home today. Best feeling ever. Didn’t feel obligated to answer any texts, calls, or check Facebook periodically. Didn’t feel obligated to know the time. My only obligation was to really breathe in life without a tied technology in my pant pocket. Having the eagerness being gone of checking my phone every time I felt a vibration or to check it every hour to make sure I didn’t miss any text or calling, was wonderful. 🙂
Bogus. For me.
Today, I really focused on others around me and not distracting my attention any where else but in life, in real moments. Like going to canoeing, letting the sun beam down on me, talking & listening to friends, seeing five cute little turtles while canoeing, being treated out to dinner after a well needed meeting and participating in life happening around me. Not masking behind a screen or saying, “One sec, I didn’t hear you…can you repeat that?” Because my head was downward and my fingers were on my phone.
And I am not saying technology isn’t awesome; cause heck, it is! I am currently writing on an online blog about the current situation. :p
But, for me, it distracts myself too much and doesn’t let myself take in life – the bad moments where you don’t know how you’re going to get through the next minute to the fantastic moments where you are laughing so hard it really does hurt!
God is really tugging on my heart to live a more simple life…
Meaning a few things:
Getting rid of and donating most of my clothes.
Limiting my media (texts, internet) amount.
Eating less junk food and more raw foods.
And as of right now, not sure what else.
I don’t know how much I feel about that… but I do know it is the right thing to do.
Camping was a blast this past Saturday with my three best friends. My desire to be a nomadis becoming stronger and stronger. But as of right now, I know where I am supposed to be- in a medium size college town, working at an assisted living place for the elderly and with a little girl with special needs… at the best recovery church, living with my two cray cray friends, teaching Sunday School and doing Kids Fun Night at Church, learning what recovery looks like to me, smiling each day not because of my own desires I am fulfilling but because God is with me, working in me- even in Wisconsin.
No matter how big my desire of traveling the world, getting married, having a family; I know my God has bigger and better plans than I could ever imagine for myself.
And I am excited to see what is to come but even more excited to be living in the moment and feeling the changes of my heart.
Another thing God has been tugging on my heart is about encouragement.
I desire to stop putting other people down and putting myself down when I am in a crappy mood or in self pity…
And switch to the wonderful action called encouragement.
My friends and I like to use sarcasm and sometimes it can get a little too out of hand. Example was this weekend while camping and it was the first time I recognized it myself and wanted it to change. It was also the first time speaking about the change I was feeling inside of me when we all were sitting around the steamy campfire… 🙂
Last night before hitting the hay, I was reading Ephesians 4 and it struck me like neva before… instead of this nonsense sarcasm, why not abide each other in Christ’s love?
Be gentle.
Be humble.
Be patient.
Love.
Wanting the change from bad sarcasm/rudeness/shortness/etc to encouragement for my surrounding loved ones is a great feeling and a better feeling to know it is God doing all this work. To really love God’s people like He loves them.
Later that night, as I was freezing and tossing & turning every thirty seven minutes; I had a dream in between waking up off and on- and it was exactly this; I was trying to explain to myself and my friends who I was camping with of how important it is to me to be more encouraging and to let go of the empty sarcasm bologna. I was so pumped about it and the last time I woke up, I told my good friend Jasmine about my dream; that is how excited my heart is!
God is definitely telling me something!
It is cray cray how God works. Through nature. Through the people in my life. Through my work. Through my dog. Through, just, everyone and everything!
Another awesome thing that has been happening- God has given me such a grateful heart. I have been so grateful each day. Even when things haven’t been going “so well”. Like last week when emotions of my past were getting to me and not knowing how to handle them safely and not wanting to handle them safely… it resulting in me going for a drive with one of my roommates to a local park and bawling my eyes out- not knowing what God is doing and loathing it. I don’t like not knowing everything… :p My feelings and emotions of my past (which two years ago around same date was when my ex boyfriend broke up with me after not talking to me for a week and mind you, I found out on Facebook… and there went my overload of depression for months-so I thought I was over that- HA! Nope. I was confused, hurt, and grieving.) Break ups are difficult and supes difficult when you are co-dependent with him like I was. BUT ANYHOOZLEBEES! It felt good to be able to have such a great friend to listen to me, pray for me, and in the end, laughing together. I love laughter. 🙂
My heart has and is so grateful. Like right now, I am sitting in my living room listening to dub step worship. Nothing could be better… 🙂
I also have been wanting to eat better, get back into shape, etc etc etc and would love prayer on this! I do not want to be obsessed with the thought of food and working out. I need that balance. So I reached out to a friend and asked for some help. Humility, humility, humility. 🙂
Being able to really take things in, breathe life in, thanking God for each breathe, and thanking Him that He is doing all this amazing work- to not boast about it and become prideful, but boast about my weaknesses is when His Light is shining through.
This was certainly a ramble but I hey, that is what blogs are for, right?!
What has God been doing in your life?!
I would love to hear. 🙂
“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”
it is that time of the…year, day, moment…again. Time to blog. While I munch on these two delicious foods Trader Joe’s has ever sold. And listen to the awesome worship songs on Spotify. 🙂
DELICIOUS. These are like pea cheetos… without the cheese.Am I eating cat food?! No. Silly goose.
Now that you know what I am eating, time to get to the real stuff. Something that has been tugging on my heart and that has finally epic-ally exploded today like a glorious firework…
I must warn you, there may be a lot of grammar mistakes or sentences that don’t make much sense. I am purdy tired from work. I worked an unusual shift, THE THIRD SHIFT. Man oh man. I used to work those all the time at my other job but now my body is so used to waking up early and getting done early… Not going to work late, staying up till the morning light shines through (usually when I am at work on a normal day). But I agreed to pick up the shift. It wasn’t bad. Not busy. Got everything done plus more. The sleeping deprivation is still at me though… so bare with me if you must :). I got some sleep before church this morning and with a whole whopping two minutes before having to leave, I woke up to my roommates bright eyed and bushy tailed for the day to come. Me…not so much. As much as I wanting to sleep in my comfortable bed, dog by my side, pillows suffocating my body and a glorious fan blowing cool air on to my face, I woke up with no problem. I am still in shock myself! As I was a teacher assistant at Sunday School, I made sure I asked for the willingness and strength to wake up after my two hour nap. And sure… thing… He answered my mumbled prayer. 🙂 My eyes were blood shot, hair in a good amount of a mess, in the same clothes as last night, I rummaged myself down to our Sunday School room. Only about five kiddos pile in. As I hear the agenda from the other teacher, my heart smiled.
We would be going upstairs for the sermon and communion (children are going through First Communion soon and our Pastor and his wife would like if the children would come upstairs every month or so to participate) ; it was perfect for the lesson. The section of The Serenity Prayer: To Accept The Things I Cannot Change And The Courage To Change The Things I Can. As we discussed about accepting things we literally cannot change- situations, people, animals, God; and having courage to change the things we literally can, speaking the truth, and seeing our fears as something we can change into love, truth, and life. When the time came to go upstairs for part of church, it became a different story. Three of girls were pleased and accepted the “challenge” of going upstairs, as the other two boys were not havin’ it. Who wouldn’t? To fear the unknown makes sense…we fear what we don’t know. They were unsure what church was going to be like today. One child stayed downstairs and his fear turn into tears… the other kiddo took the courage and came upstairs with us all. He accepted that he couldn’t change the different Sunday School dynamics today.
We all sat together, in the first two pews… As God was working in all of our hears, I can only speak from my heart and how it was changed today because of those kiddos in Sunday School today. The other kiddo who had tears through out the whole sermon, stayed upstairs the ENTIRE time, got blessed during communion and quickly went downstairs to enjoy an Italian ice for snack. As the other teacher came down and talked with the kiddos how it took courage to go upstairs and to stay upstairs and we were given a gift of accepting something we couldn’t change today; she bluntly told the tear filled eyed child who was upstairs for church that HE was the ROCKSTAR of the group today. As much as he didn’t want to be upstairs this morning for his grandpa’s sermon… He stayed and that took so much courage! To overcome his fear and to be out of his comfort zone of not being surrounded by the silliness of crafts, loud games, and running around activities like what usually happens downstairs every Sunday. To see his face expression changed from fear of the unknown to knowing that his courageous decision to buckle up his baby straps and participate was amazing to see!
As I have seen in the past in other situations and my own, we as humans would most likely want to condemn this child for crying throughout the whole church service. And mind you, this wasn’t forced on the children… the decision of going upstairs was implied but ultimately the decision was to each individual child in that Sunday School room today. As each child decided on courage and acceptance today, I was amazed by other teacher’s reaction to this little kiddo during the service. She didn’t condemn him for his reaction of fear but she welcomed his courage to follow through!
It brings me to the “adult” world and that it is not much different at all. There is so much I don’t want to do and I make a huge fuss out of it by complaining, or doing a half-ass job at whatever the situation is… What good does that do me? None. Other than harden my heart. This morning reminded me of how I like to stay in comfort zone too much and that I don’t like to take the courage to step out. I like to try to change, manipulate something or someone when something isn’t going my way- I don’t like to accept things I cannot change… But I like the change the things I “think” I can!
As for me, the most difficult thing for me to do is… share my feelings, opinions, beliefs, all in all: talk.
I have a horrid time figuring out my thoughts to complete a semi-decent sentence. I’ve never like talking all too well. I was asked the question today if I was shy. I was stunned by this question. Not only because I was being “accused” of being shy, but I have never been asked that. I have been called “quiet” before. And I really despise that. Not because I take it as a character “default” of mine per say but because it runs a lot deeper than just a characteristic of myself.
Currently…and I have a feeling that I will be learning this the rest of my life… that I do have a voice. In my preteen/teen/high school years, I kept to myself dramatically for many reasons… some of my own perceptive and some of the dysfunction that was going on. And yes, there was/is dysfunction in my family and I took that differently when I was younger then I do now. I don’t want pity or anything and I am not saying I had this horrible child hood… because I had food, shelter, and education. A lot more than some children in this world. At the same time, we must not compare pain to pain. We all see things differently at different seasons in our lives and when I was younger, I came to the belief that I didn’t have a “voice” for anything…my self esteem, my opinions at school or elsewhere, my depression, my everything due to many things that I am in continuous recovery and healing from [thank The Lord, literally :)].
Anyhoozlebees! I had to think of the real reasons why I tend to take the more quiet route other than the lame excuse of, “I’m just tired today” … and here is what I came up for myself: I generally don’t like talking all too much-in a sense of my personality that I’d rather listen and process in writing, art, rather than speaking out my aggression’s; I still have the belief that creeps up on me every now and than that my voice is useless and I’d rather not express what I am thinking; I am talking to God and taking in the beautiful breathes of His creation; I love listening to people; I dislike being center of attention and tend to reach on the other spectrum of wanting to be in the background, my self esteem isn’t the best, and I have some anxiety talking in groups or one on one cause I have a difficult time letting people in and letting my guard down.
I guess the whole point of this is that I used to take being quiet as one of my character defaults and used to cry a lot at night when someone made a comment about my calm personality, when in reality it is just a part of who I am and how God made me. I must accept that. Don’t get me wrong, I can be silly, loud, and anything opposite of quiet. At the same time, I can use my quietness as an excuse to not step out of comfort zone, express myself, or do something God has asked/told me to do. Lemmetellchu, when I do, I feel a whole lot better when something I know I am supposed to say or do, and I actually do it other than just sitting back and pondering all the different ways I could approach the situation, when I could ask for the willingness to be courageous enough and STEP OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AND FACE MY FEARS. I am not talking about my fear of spiders and weird multiplies, but I am talking about heart fears. Ones that ache at your heart. The fears that tell you to stuff yourself with food, sex, men, internet, alcoholic, drugs, anything… Those fears are scary. No pun intended. My fear of spiders is nothing like my fear of talking in front of a crowd or having one of those heart to heart, deep conversations that bring out healing and redemption.
I am scared of spiders.
I am scared of weird multiplies; example: 76 grocery bags surrounding me.
I am scared of expressing myself and worrying what people might think if/when I say something that makes no sense at all.
I am scared of rejection.
I am scared of death.
All these fears are lies. Lies that we create from the unknown.
And sometimes those fears are what can drive or be apart of our eating disorders, addictions, alcoholism, _____ (fill in the blank).
Ok. Well, my fears are what drives a lot of dysfunctional mindful thoughts- my eating disorder- my codependency- my anger- my hurt…
I have been so encouraged by the little boy in the Sunday School today; to continue on the road of courage and to push aside fear. To accept that I am created new in God. Remember the truth. Remember I have freedom to be who I am. Remember to not condemn myself when I do mess up. To remind myself, I need my Savior named Jesus. I need His love constantly. I need His Agape love. To help me have the courage to carry on…through the agony, through the pain, and doing things I simply do not want to do. It is okay that I step out and take up God’s truth… NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO ME. Rather than bringing a smile to my face, knowing in my heart, all this work has been done by Him and not by my own strength. Encouragement is powerful to the soul. I lack that severely to others and myself. The encouragement of have acceptance and courage. Woah.
All these beautiful experiences are used to bring me back to Him and be reminded that HE is in control… my life is to bring Him glory to His Kingdom.
Accept The Things I Cannot Change and The Courage To Change The Things I Can. . .
Yesterdays church service was grand- it was all about being the Body of Christ. And not the old story of being perfect and holy all the time and pretending to be some perfect Christian so others may desire that too. No. Most of the time, other people find that too cocky and end of up giving remarks like Christians are too hypocritical, too judgmental, etc. Being the Body of Christ is different; it is about God taking the outcasts, misfits, addicts, alcoholics, screw ups and creating The Church. It isn’t about sitting in a pew every Sunday or once every two years; it is about loving everyone by words and actions everyday. Even that is done by the Holy Spirit through us…we can’t take any credit for that-face it, we get too prideful as it is. :p God’s love is endless and flows through us, even when we don’t think so. He is always using us for His glory. He is always using us and changing our hearts to love others. That is His biggest command per say; Love. Not just any kind of love…His Love. He uses the misfits, the outcasts, the addicts, the alcoholics, those with an eating disorder, the quiet homebodies, the sinner. He uses everyone! We are made new in Him. We are His! It’s not about being someone we are not. It’s about bowing our heads down and lifting our hands up to Jesus, giving up our dysfunctions daily and letting God heal us, mold us, and use us. We’ll mess up but His grace remains the same. We are The Church, most importantly we are His Church.
As I sit in the AC in my living room (as it is scorching hot outside- temp is 97 and heat index is 107), watching the Dark Knight with my roommate, sippin’ on some black cherry soda, nodding off and on due to lack of sleep; I am in awe over the message in church today. It was all about God’s love for us and His grace. His grace meaning that there is nothing we can do to make Him love us any less and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us any more. Isn’t that incredible? To have a perfect Father that is holding each and everyone of us, changing our hearts constantly. The cool thing is, that is what life is about; His love! Not just in church or at bible study but at the grocery store or at the park or anywhere honestly. We can know God’s Endless Love everywhere!
Tomorrow, I begin a long work week but I am resting in this today. And praying that I will remember this important message this upcoming week and every day after. I am soooo grateful to have a job and a job I love! I am so excited to be babysitting two wonderful children Monday and Tuesday night after my other job, too. 🙂 They are so much fun! God always provides in the craziest awesome ways.
After church today we had our first Sunday School meeting with two willing teachers and five aides for Sunday School AND Fun Night! We are so humbled knowing the fact that God orchestrated all of this and that we are able to share God’s love with these amazing children. And at the same time, the kiddos are teaching me more about Christ’s love than I’d ever imagine! God is just so so so so good all the time!
Last night; my roommate and I took two girls from Sunday School camping at a state park for a night; and let me tell you, it was a blasty blast! Late night campfire, nature walks, the beach, sparklers, the dam, listening to the crickets, waking up at 6:49 am in sweat and an aching back, making smores, roasting vegan hot dogs and regular hot dogs for the girls was a night I’ll never forget. Being around God’s creation; both human form and nature form :p; I am so blessed to be apart His plan and purpose. To have the opportunity to abide in His love, endure in His creation, and be silly with one of my favorite eight and ten year olds in the form of camping is mind-blowing!
On Friday, the graduating 2011 class lost another classmate from a long 8 month struggle with cancer. Prior to her death, a precious young man of the class of 2011 was found in Utah about six months ago. Though, I didn’t know the young lady too well; we were in the same focus for the four years of high school and had some classes together; she always had a beautiful smile on her face and had a light about her. I didn’t know the guy much either but he was always so nice during school and worked hard at the local grocery store deli. I always think of him when I walk by the deli and and don’t see him there. My heart and prayers go out to everyone who knew them both, especially their families as they grieve their losses. Death is never easy. God, comfort them through this time and wrap Your loving arms them. I ask for good to come of this as You always create beauty from ashes. Your Love is still shining.
“We Jews know that we have no advantage of birth over “non-Jewish sinners.” We know very well that we are not set right with God by rule-keeping but only through personal faith in Jesus Christ. How do we know? We tried it—and we had the best system of rules the world has ever seen! Convinced that no human being can please God by self-improvement, we believed in Jesus as the Messiah so that we might be set right before God by trusting in the Messiah, not by trying to be good.
Have some of you noticed that we are not yet perfect? (No great surprise, right?) And are you ready to make the accusation that since people like me, who go through Christ in order to get things right with God, aren’t perfectly virtuous, Christ must therefore be an accessory to sin? The accusation is frivolous. If I was “trying to be good,” I would be rebuilding the same old barn that I tore down. I would be acting as a charlatan.
What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work. So I quit being a “law man” so that I could be God’s man. Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not “mine,” but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.”
– Galatians 2:15-21 (MSG)
I read this before I went to bed last night and I was in such awe of God. How he spoke to me through these verses…
He>i.
This past week, I have been a huge worry wart; just about everything in my life: my current job, my new job I am starting next month, money, my self-image, what other people think of me, my family, my desire to marry and thinking I’ll never get married, desire to travel the world but being “stuck” in a smaller town in Wisconsin, if I am doing His will, etc etc etc. Just silly stuff I have preoccupied my mind instead of Him. If my mind would be on Him and His goodness, my worries wouldn’t be a bother. So, unfortunately, I have a problem with worry. AKA, I have a problem trusting God and trusting that He will make all things right. I am believing this, glimpse by glimpse, that He has everything under control! After all, He did create the entire world. :p He is teaching me through Sunday School, church, my roommates/friends, work, my dog, swimming, nature adventures, kiddos, and all the blessings He has so graciously given me that I take for granted. Reading this scripture struck me in a way where I had a better night of sleep. I usually don’t sleep well so this is a big deal! 🙂 God is a big deal! 🙂
“If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.” Ouch. But so true! This life on earth isn’t about being good, following the law, or keeping the rules. It is about the relationship we have with Jesus. With all my worries crawling toward me, His grace and love is bigger. He is bigger than any problem, worry, doubt, sin we/I have. The amazing thing is that He is the one who works in our hearts and draws us closer to Him; He will do whatever it takes. His love is crazy. My human mind cannot understand His love for me and all of His children but I am so honored to be able to see glimpses.
The funny thing is, just a few months ago, I had a horrible time believing this. I fought and fought His grace and finally (by the Holy Spirit) gave up my fight. I used to think He loved everyone but me. I used to believe that I had did such horrible things in my past, that He couldn’t possible forgive me and what I’ve done. It is a great feeling to know that that isn’t true. He does forgive everyone, including me. His grace and power is the only way I am able to believe this still.
Having the balance between knowing that I am His child and He loves me, and knowing I need Him to live, to breathe is awesome. God is so so so so so good! Going through this life without Him sucks; I’ve been there. Was a very dark place for me. Honestly, being able to sit on my living room floor, listening to NeedToBreathe, and being in awe by this scripture gives me the chills. God is so present in this world; we sometimes just can’t see Him. Not because He isn’t there, but because we aren’t looking- we think we know it all and can control our life. HA. Thank God for knocking my false pride down some levels. Everything I have and am today, is because of Him. Of course, I am going to fall; but His grace catches me.
It is not about being good or pleasing God; it is about the relationship we have with the Lord. And even that, it is The Holy Spirit tugging at our hearts drawing each one of us closer to Jesus.
God, you are absolutely amazing. I am so grateful for my life and the breaths you give to me each second… I am in need of Your guidance and the willingness to be willing to trust in You about everything. “I believe, help me with my unbelief.” Your love is beautiful. Humble me, use me, change me. Above all else, help me live a life for Your Kingdom, and not of my own purpose and plan-because we all know, that just would not work. :p Lord, I am Yours. I love you so much, Jesus. I am consistently learning more about You and I love it! Much love from Your Princess, Erika.
This is Sydney. One of the most precious young ladies I know. I have been blessed to watch her grow in these past two years. She is wonderful. Love her so.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. – Romans 12:1-2 (MSG)
Whatever you do, give it to God. For His glory.
Don’t conform to this world but be transformed by God.
Amazing thing is, we don’t do this by our own power or integrity. But by His grace, love, and power, our hearts change. All for His Kingdom.
Beautiful.
John 3:16. One of the most common known bible verses. Even though, to some, it is only that, a bible verse. “So, what does John 3:16 have anything to do in my life? I have a great job, nice place to live, and I am nice to people… sometimes. I consider myself a good person and happy most of the time. What does the Bible have anything in it for me?” Believing that the Son of God is Jesus Christ may or may not be a breaking point in your life. But I know for me, it was. I longed to know how I was able to get to heaven. During that time in my life, I didn’t want to live but didn’t want to go to hell, either. What now? Well, I was struggling to believe that John 3:16 is true, that Jesus could actually be God. That confused me- Yes, God created the Earth, Jesus is the son of God who he sent to save the world but they are the same person? Uh, what? Why isn’t any of this making sense? God and Jesus, the same man…but different?
The most significant reason I know that Jesus is God is Scripture, the Bible, His Word; AKA-John 3:16. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his One and only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16. Seems simply enough, right? “So, all I gotta do is believe?” Yes! But that belief doesn’t come from good works- the more people you help, the better job you have, how many doors you open for people at the grocery store, how much you tithe, how many swears words you don’t say. The belief to believe comes from God Almighty Himself. He changes your heart to believe. He changes your heart to help an elderly man across the street, because that’s what He would do. He does it all! I am always running to my written in, torn up, colorful Bible when I am losing sight of my path. Meaning, I am losing sight of who God really is. I turn to scripture when I don’t want to believe the truth of John 3:16 and I continue to hold on to His promises. It’s sometimes difficult to believe that Jesus came to save me. Me? Worn down, screwed up, pitiful, unfaithful me. He did! Jesus wants every bit of you and me! All that He promises are in His Word. I know that Jesus is God because scripture tells me so! Jesus is the son of God, yes, also as one – “I and the Father are one.”- John 10:30.
Another significant reason I know that Jesus is God is The Resurrection. The magnificent, bloody, powerful Resurrection of Jesus Christ. This is perfect because Easter is around the corner! No, Easter is not about a creepy Easter bunny hopping around hiding little children’s Easter baskets and pooping pink and yellow eggs. Easter is about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ! If there wasn’t the Resurrection of Jesus than that puts a damper on everything. There would be nothing to live for besides, well, nothing. Yeah, you could continue to live off your drug of choice-weed, alcohol, relationships, lust, porn, work, exercise…but pretty soon that addiction will end and so will your life. There wouldn’t be a “Higher Power” in AA. There wouldn’t be Christmas. There wouldn’t be Easter. There wouldn’t be you or me. Jesus walked this Earth way before ya’ll came tumbling about it. Basically, if Jesus didn’t die and then three days later rise from His death, I would not be writing this essay for an internship at church and studying apologetics. I probably wouldn’t be alive or still wallowing in sin-and not giving a damn. Jesus went to the cross and rose again to defeat death and sin. And He did exactly that! Yes, I still sin. You still sin. But there is no condemnation through Jesus Christ. I will sin everyday till the day I die but I am still going to meet Jesus at the end of my journey on this Earth. Because Jesus loves me so much and loves you so much that He bared the pain, the blood, and the agony of being nailed to the cross so we could have eternal life with Him. We are worth the price Jesus paid! Jesus spoke of His death and resurrection before being nailed to the Cross. Though, some didn’t believe Him-more of “I’ll believe when I see it” type of people. Well, it happened. Jesus was resurrected! Just. Like. He. Said. But aren’t we all sort of “those” people to an extent? We want evidence, physical or scientific evidence to believe anything we are unsure of. We are stubborn, let’s face it. At the same time, the belief of Jesus is God comes to you-from the power of the Holy Spirit. We can have all the scientific, physical hardcore evidence we want but that doesn’t necessary mean we’re going to believe. Though, the Resurrection of Jesus Christ is a great start to dig in the “scientific and physical” evidence for Jesus being God! 😉
The third significant reason I know that Jesus is God is music. Yes, music helps me know that Jesus is God. May sound silly but not to me. Music has always been an important part of my life. I’ve always went to music for any emotional I’ve felt, to grieve, or to feel. Whether it may be a worship song, a rock song, or a sappy love song. I tend to lean toward a lot of more Christian artist these days- I feel connected to God when I am able to worship Jesus in my car, at home alone, or in church. I can’t describe the feeling I get when I listen to music all too well but I get chills and goosey bumps many times especially when I am belted out a song that usually as to do with Jesus’ love for His children. When I am feeling helpless and hopeless, music lifts my spirits up. I could be having the crappiest day (which is quite possible in a literal sense at my work) and a song will come on the radio or I will pop in a CD and my worries will fade away. I hear a faint whisper, “I am here”. Music also lets us connect to other people as well. It’s a common ground we can relate on and express our feelings. I do have music on probably 18 hours of the 24 hours in a day. It’s a way I can cry, talk, sing to The Lord. Music is a beautiful mystery to me. Music tells stories, helps me grieve, and helps me understand this beautiful roller coaster called life. Life with Him. Music gives me hope to continue on and a reminder that Jesus is Lord.
Well, I’m falling to my knees, I feel the earth beneath
With the weight of my sin and this crushing unbelief
Could You really love me with all that I’ve done, oh Lord? So hide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh Lord
Hide my sin from the beauty here before Your throne
Hide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh Lord
Hide my sin from the beauty here before Your throne
(Hallelujah- Tenth Avenue North)
The fourth significant reason I know that Jesus is God is love. I see love every day, all around me. I see and feel love at my work, church, home, my dog, the morning sunshine, music. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) This breaks down love pretty simply. Jesus Christ is love. God is love. Thus, Jesus is God. Love is all you need seems cliché but it’s the truth! Because of God is love and love is all you need; God is honestly all you need! We don’t need our fancy cars, the next iphone, the biggest church, or the next promotion at work. When you have God, He is all you need and He will take care of you. He will fulfill your desires of being a graceful mom, a Bible nerd, a loving wife. Being able to see my own desires fulfilled by God helps me understand and know that Jesus is God. I sometimes long for a non-stressful day at work or to be married, or to be more courageous and bold. Those are just some of my desires and God is fulfilling those, day by day- I may not see it but He put those desires on my heart for a reason, for whatever reason I may or may not know. I’ve had stressful days at work but at the same time have peace. I used to believe I’d never get married or if I did- It’d end in a divorce. My desire of marriage has changed-I want to be married but in His timing and to the man He has chosen for me. He has changed my heart and worthy of being able to get married, one day that won’t end in a divorce. I am becoming more courageous and bold each day. I may not be running down the streets downtown screaming the gospel but God has been teaching my own ways of boldness and courage. All in His timing! Also, that doesn’t mean to sit on our butts all day…waiting for something to happen. Unless, that is specifically what God told you to do. :p Without Jesus, none of this is possible. Without Jesus being God, none of this is possible. Without His love, I wouldn’t be able to let go and let Him. Amen. 🙂
My life be like... 