Obeying our purpose.

Obedience. A word we all seem to shutter at. Why is that, do you think?

God is the Master Planner. God has everything already planned out and it is our decision whether or not we are going to obey Him. Obedience sounds scary, I know. Before this year, I didn’t want anything to with the word obedience. Especially to God. I thought being obedience meant a bunch of rules and regulations. I thought being obedient to Christ didn’t let me have freedom.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Being obedient to Christ gives you so much freedom! Obeying gives us more wisdom, more truth, more Jesus! Who doesn’t want more Jesus?!
John 21:15-25 says this…

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.  Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

……………………………………………………
We have all heard of these scriptures, feed my sheep, feed my lambs. What is so important about feeding Jesus’ sheep? Here is what I got from The Lord. Peter was asked THREE times if he loved Jesus. Each time, Peter told Jesus that He did love him. Jesus was implying that in order for our love to mean anything, we must put it into ACTION. For Peter’s love for Jesus to be sincere, he must take care of His people. Peter was given the gift of friendship with Jesus. When we are given gifts, what should we do with them? Keep them for ourselves? Heavens no! Give them AWAY!

Feed MY lambs. Take care of MY sheep. Feed MY sheep. Are we willing to sacrifice everything and follow the will of God? Are we ready to put on the full Armor of God and love His sheep? The greatest gift of all was Jesus dying on the cross for you. I take that pretty seriously. Do you?

When you are feeling weary, look at The Cross. When you are feeling sadden by the world’s troubles, look at The Cross. Never forget what happened on The Cross and the pain that Jesus endured, FOR YOU. Because of His love for you, His death demolished anything that could separate you from His love. He is so wonderful to us. Listening to Him and obeying Him, you will see pain and you will see glory. But it is worth it. Literally being the hands and feed of Jesus. Do you love Jesus? Take that leap of faith and God will be with you through everything. He will guide you. He will tell when it is the right timing to help someone. He will give you the courage and strength to be BOLD. Stand up and never be ashamed of The Gospel!
Hosea 6:1-7 says this…

1-3 “Come on, let’s go back to God.
He hurt us, but he’ll heal us.
He hit us hard,
but he’ll put us right again.
In a couple of days we’ll feel better.
By the third day he’ll have made us brand-new,
Alive and on our feet,
fit to face him.
We’re ready to study God,
eager for God-knowledge.
As sure as dawn breaks,
so sure is his daily arrival.
He comes as rain comes,
as spring rain refreshing the ground.”

4-7 “What am I to do with you, Ephraim?
What do I make of you, Judah?
Your declarations of love last no longer
than morning mist and predawn dew.
That’s why I use prophets to shake you to attention,
why my words cut you to the quick:
To wake you up to my judgment
blazing like light.
I’m after love that lasts, not more religion.
I want you to know God, not go to more prayer meetings.
You broke the covenant—just like Adam!
You broke faith with me—ungrateful wretches!

…………………………………………………………….
Sometimes, I can find my self hatin’ on the Old Testament- thinking it is boring or too harsh. But the Old Testament is full of amazing stories of restoration and God’s goodness! God literally had slapped Hosea 6 in front of my face three times yesterday. First time I pulled behind a white van that had a license’s plate of Hosea 6:3. Second time I was scrolling through my news feed and someone posted Hosea 6:3. Third time I was looking at some downloads from the She Reads Truth app on my phone and I had downloaded a picture with Hosea 6:3 in the middle. So I finally read Hosea 6:3. This is what it says- (Be prepared to have your mind blown).

————–Yes, let us know (recognize, be acquainted with, and understand) Him; let us be zealous to know the Lord [to appreciate, give heed to, and cherish Him]. His going forth is prepared and certain as the dawn, and He will come to us as the [heavy] rain, as the latter rain that waters the earth. (AMP)——————

Isn’t that just so dang powerful?! I love The Lord and how He speaks to us! This scripture goes right a long with being obedient to God…We are to recognize Him, know Him with zeal (meaning excitement for Him), appreciate Him, Cherish Him-because He has prepared a wonderful life for us! The Lord’s love showers us like heavy rain that waters the earth. His love captures us. His love makes us want to obey Him. As a follower of Jesus, we have responsibility to be tuned into The Spirit, to be guided by Him, in order to follow His will for our life. We each have such a powerful testimony from the work of The Lord in our lives that can touch so many people!

Think of it this way… if we live for ourselves, who does that benefit? If God tells you to give someone ten dollars and you do, maybe you just paid for a meal for their family, maybe that helped them get to work because they didn’t have any gas money. You may never know that our act of kindness can be so powerful to someone! That is what God wants. Our kindness and our love to bring people to Christ. What an amazing way to show people how much Jesus loves them.

Your life does affect other people, so make it important and worth living. We are to stand up as The Church, not just sit around. What is your calling in life? What do you feel God is leading you towards? Being a nurse, missionary, mother, teacher, wife, movie producer, a news anchor? It can be anything because you have such a wonderful purpose in life! God has created you to do great and mighty things for The Lord! He created you so you can help build up God’s Kingdom. How glorious is that?! He has given you unique gifts that only you can give to others! You can reach people that I can’t. I can reach people you can’t. Giving God all the glory takes our eyes off ourselves and onto Him.
He gives us the boldness to share the Gospel. He gives us the faith to step out. He gives us the strength to continue on. Give Him all the glory-since He is the one who saved you! 🙂
Of course we will make mistakes and not always obey, because flesh will get in the way at times. But that is where God’s beautiful grace comes in. He continues to sanctify us. He continues to love us. He continues to show us HIS faithfulness, in order for us to show people His glory! What an amazing God we serve!

I want to pray for you!! Comment below your prayer requests. 🙂

Dear Heavenly Father,

I lift up The Church to you. I pray that you help us be bold, courageous, strong, brave, and passionate for building your Kingdom. I pray that we would find a deeper understanding of Your love for us. I pray that we would obey The Holy Spirit. When we know Your love, we are able to love and serve others. I praise You and thank You for being such an awesome, loving Father. I take authority over the enemy and his evil ways- him trying to manipulate The Church in to not following Your will. He will not stand, Lord. Only You reign forever! I thank you Jesus for leading and guiding us as we take the step of faith to bring The Good News to others. I love you, Jesus. You are amazing.

In Jesus’ Mighty Name,

Amen!

{Obedience to Our Father slaps apathy in the face. Choose obedience over apathy & be sincerely blessed & overwhelmed by His amazing, unfailing love}.

In Him,

Erika

Relections.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged.  

So here it goes. 

I have had so many changes in my life in the last year, when I start to over think it, my head spins. 

I’ve switched jobs. Three times. 

I’ve moved three times. 

I went to Uganda and fell in love with the people there. 

I have had two ladies pass onto Heaven who I used to take care of for 2 1/2 years. 

I’ve switched churches. Twice. 

My love for worship has increased.

I’ve started to write a devotional for women. 

I’ve grown closer to The Lord.

I turned 22. I don’t feel 22, whatever 22 should feel like.

I’ve grown very close to some amazing ladies who are all in their eighties. Yes, their eighties. 

I found out that I like white wine rather than red wine. 

I’ve learned to cook some awesome, delicious, healthy meals. 

I’ve become more comfortable with my own body. All glory to God. 

I’ve laid down my desires to The Lord and I am seeing them unfold. 

I’ve lost a lot of friends who I dearly miss. 

I’ve gain wisdom, friendships, & provision. 

I got my nose pierced professionalmy done. & now it is infected. Go figure. ;p

I gave up junk food and for the most part, stay away from sugar and gluten. 

I bought a bike. 

I’ve learned how important obedience to Our Father is. 

Of course, I got some more tattoos. 

I’ve surrendered my family to God, I have seen my family being wrecked, but also see God’s glory through this mess my family is in right now. 

God has put it in my heart to live a SIMPLE life. 

I’ve seen God work in amazing ways.

I have taught myself some sign language. With the help of my mom. 

I have realized how blessed I am to have the parents I have. My mom is such a great prayer warrior and humorous. She can always make me laugh. I love seeing God work in her. My dad always knows how to calm me down & he always shows me the positive look on things. I love seeing God work in him. Even though my heart aches they aren’t together, I am so glad they are civil with each other and love each other. God has truly blessed me through them. 

I’ve been taught that life is much easier when we chose God’s plan rather than our own. 

God has given me a vision to be a mother to the beautiful little ones in Uganda. 
I think it is good to reflect from time to time & see what God is doing in your life. We can get lost in this world so easily, we can lose sight of what is really important, Jesus. 

Jesus has my heart…all I want to do is please Him & give Him all the glory. 

As I reflect on the past year, even though I have lost people & things…I’ve never felt more close to God. Even though it seems like everything seems like they are crashing down, His promises stay close to my heart and get me through.

He promises to redeem and restore! Jesus is coming back, yo.

Every part of my being wants to stay in His Presence all the time. & that’s a wonderful feeling. 

When all else seems to fail, I know I am wrapped in God’s loving arms, & I certainly wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.  

Beautiful Uganda.

My dream to go to Africa started when I was a ten year old girl. Every time I saw a certain commercial on TV, I would see the sad faces of little African children looking so hungry. I told my mom, “I’m going to go feed those children someday.” She used to tap my little head with her hand and say, “Okay, honey, sure you are.”  Even then I knew either she didn’t believe me…or she didn’t want to believe that I would actually go across the world to feed the children. In my heart, I knew I would go!

I sometimes found myself lying on my bed at night, literally crying, thinking about those children with empty stomachs. Their big brown eyes spoke of their hunger, not only for physical food but also for Jesus’ love and truth. I would lie awake at night, planning for hours how I could get to Africa one day. When I was a little girl, I believed in God but didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus or know how powerful He was. I didn’t know His unconditional love for me or understand that He was the center of this whole African dream. Never would I have imagined eleven years later, I would actually go to Africa! I was content with living my life and my traveling desires to be put on hold.  God wasn’t okay with that though! God had a different plan and I’m so glad I obeyed Him.
  
The Lord reminded me that just a few years ago, I used to be co-dependent in relationships, hated myself, hated life, didn’t know my purpose, and was in the music business for all the wrong reasons. I tried to fill the void in my life with everything but Jesus.  I was depressed and never smiled. For a time, there was a lot of chaos in my family, and I blamed God. Thankfully, He never stops pursuing us. After the crash of a relationship, I realized that Jesus was the only one who I could depend on. He completely stole my heart. This was when I made the decision that I would follow Jesus. I was committed to be His disciple!
 
What a glorious time that was as I started to learn about God’ love while seeking Him. I studied the Word day and night and grew spiritually. I taught Sunday school for a few years at a local church, and then God brought me to Living Word Christian Center. After my mom and I started attending, we both received the word “missions”. I became so excited that God brought me to a church where they had a Ugandan mission trip coming up.

As cliché as it sounds, this first mission’s trip to Uganda has changed my life forever. While in there, I was in complete culture shock. I kept looking around and thinking, “Am I really in Africa?” Am I really seeing children without any parents?” Am I really seeing hopelessness in these beautiful faces?” The questions went on within my mind and my heart. I knew the only one who could save these souls was Jesus. The little children that I had seen so many years ago on TV were now right in front of my eyes! They were all so hungry for The Lord’s love. I was so thankful that God brought me to Uganda to show these people His love and mercy. 
 
I had a soul connection with two little girls while ministering in Uganda, and though I may not ever see them again; our souls are forever connected.  When I had to leave them to go back to where we stayed, my eyes filled up with tears and my hugs didn’t seem like enough. I met one of the little girls while ministering on an island. While I was standing outside a hut, I felt a small, beat up hand grab mine. Her big, beautiful brown eyes looked up and mine and smiled. We both felt safe. We both felt warm. We both felt God’s love. She was God’s little princess. We couldn’t understand each other’s language, but we understood our affection for each other. She followed me throughout the village, tightly squeezing my hand. The second little girl I met was from a village outside of Mukono. She and brother joined our ministry team and held my hand the entire time we were ministering to people in the village. We prayed with some for salvation, and prayed for those who had already accepted The Lord as their Savior. It was glorious to see their face when they received prayer. They were so in love with The Lord and passionate about telling others of His love. The little girl told me she was very hungry and had not eaten in a long time. My heart sank. I gave her my water bottle, and prayed for her as well. As we walked through the village, more and more children ran up to me, grabbed my arms and played with my hair. They were amazed by my pale skin and arms covered in tattoos. Their little fingers traced the markings. I was worried about exposing my tattoos in Africa. God gave me a dream of African children tracing my tattoos, and I knew it would be okay. When it was time to the village, the Spirit overwhelmed me; and I couldn’t hold back my tears. I squeezed the little girl tight and told her Jesus loved her very much. I gave her my pink t-shirt so she would remember me, and her face lit up like the Northern Lights.
 
God woke me up in the middle of night on the seventh day, and gave me the gift of speaking in Tongues. I had been praying for this. Praise God. I witnessed miracles of healing before my very eyes and people give their life to Jesus Christ. I witnessed people smile when they got prayed for, and I felt God’s presence as the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I witnessed my friend also receive the gift of speaking in Tongues. I witnessed young ladies being filled with joy when we spent time with them making bracelets and sharing sodas with them. I witnessed children laughing and playing with toys they created from the nearby creek. I experienced God’s unconditionally love. I sponsored a beautiful son, Amos, after hearing his story from Mama Linda. I connected with a woman in a Ugandan prison. She burst into tears while I was praying for her. I just can’t believe God would use ME to help her. She was so beautiful and full of the joy of the Lord. It was only because of Jesus I was able to witness all of this.
 
Jesus loves Uganda so much, and His love is so relevant in the compassionate people who live there.
While in Uganda, I was pulled out of my comfort zone completely, which is what I needed. I didn’t even know what evangelism was, but I knew that I wanted to do it. Laying hands on people was new to me, but it needed to be done. In Uganda, God spoke to me and told me I would be a full-time missionary and that my life even in America would never be the same. God has given me a heart for missions, and I can’t see myself doing anything else. I am back in America now; and in my spirit I don’t feel like I belong here. I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus spreading the gospel across the nations. I want to obey God’s will with everything within me. I desire to be completely dependent on Him, and no longer on material items. Because of Him, I am able to do this. Because of Him, I am full of joy. Because of Him; I will see glory, and I will see pain. Because of Him, I will never be ashamed of who I am in Christ. Being obedient to Christ gives us so much freedom.

I am so overwhelmed, blessed, encouraged, and in awe of what God is doing in my life. My heart will always be in Uganda. We serve such an amazing, crazy (in a good way), awesome God! God has a lot of work to do in me yet; but I am ready to go back to Africa with a suitcase in one hand and my passport in the other. God has given me the vision of being a mother to a lot of children across the world. I am forever grateful for God’s plan for my life and obeying Him. I used to be so depressed and didn’t want to live anymore; but God saved me and has turned my pain into beauty. I know He will do the same in all any heart who cry out to Him. His love never fails. God is our perfect Father that has a plan for each one of our lives. When we obey, we see His glory!
  
I am also forever grateful for the beautiful Prepare the Way Ministry of Pastor Bill and Mama Linda. The Lord has really blessed me through them. Their compassion is contagious. Their love is beautiful. They are touching so many lives in Uganda. Praise God for their obedience and faithfulness to our Lord. I am also extremely thankful to my parents and family for their support, prayers, and encouragement!

I wrote a poem about my experience in Uganda:
 

When I close my eyes,

I dream of Uganda.

When I open my eyes,

I think of Uganda.

Where the beautiful air captures you the first moment you rise.

Where the children yell, “Mzungu, Mzungu!”

Every time you pass by.

Where the shoeless children run up to you,

Just to touch your skin

And play with you hair.

Where albino and deaf people get forgotten,

Where people have never heard of this Jesus before,

But crave His Love.

Where the red sand covers you

After a day’s work for the Lord.

Oh, beautiful Uganda,

You are my home.

Where children laugh

And play;

But wonder when they are going to eat next.

“Does somebody, anybody love me?”

Children of Uganda are absolutely beautiful,

They dance with elegance,

They sing with angelic voices,

They pray with hopeful hearts;

For our Lord’s return.

Oh, beautiful Uganda,

Won’t you see your potential?

Jesus loves Uganda,

Where the generosity outgrows America,

Where the women get sold into sex slavery,

Where families work 20 hour days for little or no pay,

Where there may be no clean water,

Where children wear ripped clothing that

Seems and sometimes is, forever.

Where the passion for The Lord triumphs their pain,

Where the death of Malaria, AIDS, & murder bring sorrow.

“Where are you Lord?”

Uganda pleads!

Poverty stricken zone,

There seems to be no hope

Or no Light.

There is.

He is their Hope.

He is their Light.

What can I do Lord

To help beautiful Uganda?

Because when I sleep I dream of Uganda,

Because when I rise I pray for Uganda.

Oh, beautiful Uganda,

The Lord is coming soon.

In the meantime,

I will serve The Lord

In Uganda!

For all the single ladies out there.

This is written to all the single ladies out there.

We as women were created to be loved  & cherished & we are to be loved & cherished by The Creater of Universe!

Unfortunately, we tend (not all women) to think we can find these satisfactions in a man. ‘If I just find the perfect man, all my problems of insecurities with go away because he will fulfill all my needs. He will be my soul mate.’ This is a false fairy tale, ladies. I say this from experience- I thought men would make me happy, which they did for some time & that was the issue, I went into the relationship wanting happiness. Bad idea. :p The relationship always ended. The amazing thing about God, His relationship that He has created with us will never ever end.

The truth is, that men will never completely satisfy our needs & wants. Of course a significant other will make you feel special, loved, & cherished, but if we, as women, don’t know the true love from our Heavenly Father, we will continue to try to find love. & this is impossible.

You don’t need to find it, Jesus already showed what true love is on The Cross.
It is okay to be single! We don’t need a man by our side to know our purpose or worth in ourselves.

This is what I am learning. I haven’t dated in three years & it truly is a blessing. Of course I have some days where I say, “Oh, gosh, it would be so nice to have a boyfriend right now or I would be happier if I had a boyfriend that I could talk to right now.”

Lies lies lies lies lies! I have someone I can cry to & tell all my problems to. I have someone who accepts me for who I am & knows how to satisfy every need I have. & the same with you. & His name is Jesus! God is the one who created our needs, so He definitely knows how to satisfy all our needs! 🙂

He is always near & our purpose is found in Jesus, not in men.

Of course, it is lovely to have that significant other but it is also okay to be single. Embrace it. Learn from it. Grow in it. God has called you to a single life right now for a reason. Seek Him, & God-willing, He will bring the man He perfectly planned for you to be with in HIS timing. While you wait, continue to submit to Jesus.

He will never fail you even though we will fail Him daily.

Jesus is always always always constant.

Even if you are/when you get into a relationship, know the love of Christ for yourself. Know that you have worth in Jesus and your confidence shall come from Jesus.

As I listen to what God is telling me about my single life right now, I hope other women are able to know their purpose in Jesus as well. Embrace whatever season you are in right now. Follow God’s will & know that He loves you so. He wants what is best for you.

Jesus is amazing & He delights in seeing our joy in Him.

Be confident.
Be bold.
Be courageous.
Be lovely.
Be you.
In Jesus.

In Him,
Erika

Stuck like scotch tape.

Right now, I am feeling a bit stuck. And I am unsure why exactly.

Maybe I do,

I have the strongest desire to travel this world, Spread the Gospel, live out of a backpack, help people, love people, be changed every step that I walk.

But.

I am stuck.

Or so I feel.

Working fifty hours a week at two different jobs just so I can pay my monthly bills and to provide for my doggy dog ( who is the cutest ever, by the way :p ).

I don’t feel like I am moving anywhere, sideways, forward, anything.

Just at a stand still.

I probably should spend time in His Word & listen to Him. Give all my attention to Him.

My worry is overpowering me when it shouldn’t be. God has everything under control. So why am I asking him why not yet!?

I’m asking about my purpose, His plan, for guidance, and obedience to Him.

I know I have a purpose- He is my forever purpose.

My heart cries out for The Lord right now.

What am I doing? What am I supposed to be doing right now?

My heart is heavy with burdens; I need Your rest.

Life isn’t about the next Facebook post, or next blog post I do. Or the next tattoo I get. Or the next meal I can eat. Or the next clothing item I can buy at Goodwill.

It is about Jesus and spreading His Holy Love.

I have been working twenty days in a row- will be twenty-seven all together before my next day off- this could have something to do with my weariness, tiredness, and worrisome attitude. But who knows…

Every breathe I take is from You, giving me life, giving me yet another chance to spread Your unfailing Love.

You are Love, God.

My past is not who I am and God’s redemption is not within my understanding. He has done so much and has gotten me through so much- my heart is constantly changing, breaking, growing because of Him.

Yet I am doubting His plans.

That. Or.

My desires are not matching up with my life right now, I guess you could say…

Yes, I love life, don’t get me wrong. I love going to work and taking care of the cute elderly and playing babies and tickles with an amazing young lady who is autistic. My jobs are amazing. I just don’t even know how to describe it… I don’t if I am just being a wuss and not believing God can turn my dreams (His plans) into a reality I can believe or I am not trusting Him that He has a plan (which is a complete lie-cause I know full well He has the world in His Mighty Hands and has plans we can’t even fathom). Man oh man. I am just utterly confuzzled right now.

I shall go spend some time in His Word…

Being still and knowing that He is God.

❤

What are ya’ll working on with our amazing Father?

Worshiping Our Lord.

Worshiping Our Lord is much more than going to Church every Sunday, or Bible Studies every week, or doing good deeds.

Yes, these are wonderful! But worshiping Our Lord shouldn’t just stop there! 🙂

And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. – Romans 8:11

Proclaiming His name. All the time.

JESUS.

Has power in His name alone.

This has been heavy on my heart…

to proclaim His name everywhere & to everyone.

He is everything.

Why can’t I be bold for Him? He was pretty darn bold when He died on the cross for the world.

The greatest thing of this is that He will do all this work in me & each one of us. His Holy Spirit will move our hearts.

We are His.

He is Ours.

Lovely, He is.

Beautiful, He is.

J

E

S

U

S

❤

Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples. – Psalm 96:3

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”
-James 1:27 (NLT)

This is my desire.

I’ve be thinking a lot lately about the passions & desires in my heart.

So here it goes.

Mind you, this is not a buck list or a check off list. These are my deep desires in my heart that can and probably will change, of course. But there seems to be some that stay unchanged. Whateves… I’ll just start. 🙂

One. To love like Jesus loves. To everyone. Love all & serve all. (Which is being done each day through God). This is more of a prayer that I continue this through out my entire life. 🙂

Two. To have a “forever marriage” and grow old together, where our wrinkles are constantly smiling because of the life God has given us together. The ups AND the downs. And always returning back to Him.

Three. Adopt kiddos and give them all the love that they deserve, Jesus’ love. To see them no differently then my “own” children- they & we are all God’s children. Just had to make that clear 😉

Four. Travel the world. Spread the Gospel. Thee end. :p

Five. To have a Christ-centered relationship. Emphasis on Christ-centered. Not perfect, but Christ-centered. Did I mention, Christ-centered?! 😉 😉

Six. To have kiddos of my/our “own” and teach them about Jesus, help them with school work, make them breakfast, lunch and dindin, etc. To see them grow up and to be able to look at such beauty & thank God that He used me and hubby (future) to create such a beautiful creation, life. This whole statement/desire includes the awesome kiddos who will be adopted. 🙂

Seven. Mission work all over the world. Hence the traveling. 🙂

Eight. Be in the music bizz again, somehow.

Nine. Help women and men who have been forced into sex slavery.

Ten. Work with families who have been affected by the Lord’s Resistance Army.

Eleven. Meet my two sponsor children; Hadija (roomies & I sponsor) and Kingsley.

Twelve. Help those who believe they aren’t “good enough”, aren’t worthy, can’t seem to forgive themselves because the shame is almost unbearable. As, I too, have and sometimes still struggle with this. It is comforting to know that there is a God of redemption and God of love named Jesus. 🙂 Because of Him, we are created new and forgiven for absolutely everything.

Thirteen. To live right now and to take it one day a time, one moment at a time, working with the elderly and children with autism, teaching Sunday School and leading Fun Night at church, finding out who I am in Christ, being a dog owner to the cutest dog ever, being a sister, a friend, an aunt, a disciple.

These are my desires through out my whole life. I’ve said and asked God, why can’t I do these right now?! I can, can’t I?! Can I, Father?! His answers- you are right where you are supposed to be at this moment. Wait on Me. These will come in My timing.

It is okay to dream! God put them on your heart for a reason! 🙂 My desires have completely changed over the course of the last two years. I wanted to live for myself. Now I just want to live for Jesus in all ways possible. How couldn’t I when He has given me so much?

Above all else, I desire to follow Jesus and let Him carry me through life. Cause I definitely know that I can’t do it on my own.

He is my everything.

❤

What are your desires/passions/dreams?

Prayers needed for my amazing niece.

This beautiful young lady, my niece has been diagnosed with scoliosis.

She brings me such joy.

Praying for her health.

Please pray with me.

❤

Love her so much.

Waiting…waiting…waiting. I’m not in control.

To be honest, I haven’t been very well mind-wise these past few days. I’ve been off work and no, not for a vaca. Wishful thinking there. :p

How much money that has been spent, it definitely could be considered a nice little vacation.

I am trying to see the positive of all this and trying to trust God.

And honestly, I am having a horrible time with this.

My dog has been in and out of the vet; and over 1,000 dollars later, they still don’t know what is wrong. After blood work, ultrasound, exams. Nothing. They think it could be food allergies or a bowl disease. So she is on this diet that she can’t stand eating.

I just got back from the vet to have her try some other allergenic food that is the next best thing. She tried some; she likes it! It is difficult because she ate the other food yesterday just fine off my finger and then this morning she was all stubborn and it was just a big mess. Literally.

I know I cannot control this whole situation or my dog’s health.

I am just worrying so much. My dog gives me so much joy and peace. And I can’t stand not knowing and not being able to just “fix” her. Well, as I am learning, that is impossible.

But not impossible for my God…

She is only 5/6 pounds and one big fluff ball. I am trying to trust God and letting go and letting God.

I’ve never had this much trouble with this.

And quite frankly, It is highly annoying.

WHY CAN’T I JUST TRUST GOD AND STOP WORRYING?

I know He is control of everything and He creates all things new, and that He creates beauty from ashes. I know this but it seems as though my faith with my dog of getting better is at the end of it’s rope. I don’t like that.

She still has bad stools but other than that, she is acting like her normal self.

osnfsojffjwe. < That is what I feel like.

I will praise God for my dog and a couple at church providing the money up front for the vet bills.

I praise Him for being constant. Always and forever.

I praise Him for my life. Even though there are bumps in the road, and this sure is one, life is beautiful.

I’m waiting for answers, guidance, provision, wisdom, and HEALING.

All with being patient and letting God, and not letting myself go crazy from this worry. Worrying is lame. Did you know that?

God, help me. I am in need of You. Always.

I really have nothing left. I have no idea what to do. Help me see You through all of this and have me stop this stinkin’ worrying and let You in.

Thank you for the breathes you give me.